Oh it's just so mundane

This losing weight, maintaining weight, sensible eating, constant trying to not go off the rails really can be mundane and mind numbing boring. 

I'm doing it, I'm trying, I'm open about some of my faults but crikey can it not just get easy? 

Somewhere inbetween determination and destination is the road trip of flat lands and vastness of nothings. 

The worst part of being a leader is having your own scales at home.  Seriously, I have weighed myself in the morning, in the evening, before going the toilet, after going the toilet ( and I was heavier afterwards which was really weird) with clothes on, with clothes off.  I swear it was like the scales is being purposefully horrible and not moving in the direction I wanted. 

I have spent the last 2 weeks doing what I ask members not to do.  It's like I have a daredevil streak in me that tries to push my own patience to the max and then I stretch my stomach to the max. 

It's not like I'm eating lots for no reason, it's just that I got out of the habit of cooking.  With getting an extension on the house and really no time, I just started snacking all of the time.  Dinner was a sandwich, breakfast was toast and lunch was even worse.  

So how do I get back on track.  Well today I made lasagne, enough for the week.  I made soup for the week, I surrounded myself with foods that are only on the plan and stopped kidding myself that I could never go back to what I was.  

I said it before, I'm heavily flirting with my old life, it's like having a bad ex, every time you find yourself in a good place, they show up looking all dapper and do that thing that made you fall in love in the first place, usually right before their devil horns appear and they can make you feel trapped in bad romance (gotta love Lady GaGa).

High's are great, low's are bad but the inbetween is the real test of strenght. When I had all of the weight to lose, I had a goal, the next half stone, the new clothes.  These 4 and half pound is like aiming for nothing.  I need a dress and an occasion to really spur me on. 

I think I will pay a family member to get married, just for the dress up.  

My challenge for September is to really give the plan my all, even when I want to go on a bender.  I must stop weighing myself, I'm allowing the scales to determine what I'm eating for my next meal, if I'm up, I'll eat what evers there, if I'm down, I'll keep trying. 

I will find an occasion and I'm going to work towards it. 

I have decided that determination is also a brief affair, staying power and persistence is the key to weight loss. 

Enjoy the Niptuck way, so you don't have to!