Birthday maddness went to my head, I lie, it went straight to my mouth and right down to my ass and tummy, I have that blurb of a belly that expends at the thought's of over indulgence. It's so ready for it, feed me, feed me now, and I don't really get over full until I look like I'm about 6 months pregnant and I mean my tummy actually goes rock hard.
That's the week I have had. You don't believe me, well it started last Monday. My birthday, 21 plus VAT, tax is undisclosed. I ate half of a Superquin Black Forrest Gateaux. I mean not only did I eat half, I only ate the have that had all of the the chocolate sprinkle on the outer parts, if your gonna do it, do it with a bang right?
Then I ordered take out, there is a new bbq take out beside me. I got shredded pork in a large bap, sweet corn, rice, then had to try some of everyone else. Tuesday was not much better as I a made the strawberry tart and ate most of that.
After being on Filling and Healthy and then going back to Propointing, my concept of portion was and is completely distorted. There ginormous, I couldn't seem to reign it in.
Thursday I went out for dinner to an Afghanistan restaurant, it's delicious food and great value for money and real child friendly, I ate everything, I got mince meat dumplings, there were 10 large dumplings on my plate and not a trace of it was left. I needed to be rolled home.
I was then working and decided that I was going to write down everything that I ate and add it all up at the end of the day. I forgot to do this so Sunday I totted everything up.
On Saturday I ate 76 Propoints and on Sunday, I ate 101 Propoints and because I am such a rebel, I calculated all of this with a "mini" snickers bar from Aldi in my mouth.
What I ate last week is now a 4 pound gain on me for this week. Absolutely gutted with myself. Firstly, I work at this, I should know all of this, I do know all of this and yet I did it. I have been flailing off the wagon for a few weeks now.
I exercise only so that I can eat more, every training session is giving me lots of extra propoints, It's giving me a greater appetite, I'm not officially getting weighed for another few weeks. All of my excuses but I had a choice.
At every meal I have, I have a choice and yet I kept making bad choices. I actually feel rather fake being a weight watchers leader when this is my behaviour. How can I stand up in class and talk about our habits, "ours" when mine are just awful.
I am conciously over eating, which I feel is worse than mindless eating. Not even standing on the scales and seeing the gain had the impact it usually would.
Why has this happened?
With all of the food I was having, I wasn't feeling satisfied at all.
Then today happened.
I went to put some nice toast on and it was the lovely soft batch that is 2 Propoints per slice, that with my butter would have made my breakfast 6 Propoints, but I decided that today was the day that I took control of myself again. I took out the Weight Watchers Bread and toasted it.
People say to me " I don't like it" well how many of us liked alcohol the first time we had it? yet we persevered it till we liked it and so did I.
I made my veg soup, yes it's roasting out but I don't like salads and soup fills me up. I made a choice at lunch time not to have a 3 course meal. I ate my fruit and had my dinner and I'm satisfied today and yet I have only had 22 Propoints. I threw out all of my lovely little treats. Yes they are all only 2 or 3 propoints but really because the are small I was having 2 of them and thinking there only little. I had my Weight Watchers bar as my treat.
I had my head buried in the sand and as they say, an ostrich is not looking at it's ass when it's head is in the sand.
I am not an ostrich but I don't fancy being a hippo either.
I'll be honest, it's been a good day but I really feel crap. Old habits really do die hard and make me doubt that I can maintain my weight and is always there reminding me that I could easily put all of the weight back on but I started to take my own advice and realised that it's choice not chance. I don't fancy risking it all again on chance. I need to stand on the scales every week.
My plan for this week, when in doubt, super glue my lips together instead of lip gloss.
Enjoy the Niptuck way, so you don't have to!