Independence day, what are you breaking free from?

Do you ever dream of being Beyonce? 

It's the 4th of July, America's Independence day.  Lots of American food, hopes of good weather and parades is what's happening today all over the U.S.  The Americans gained Independence from Great Britain.

This is a slightly weird post because It's a weird day for me.  As you all know I start my 1st WeightWatchers class tonight and the nerves are really kicking in.  

The fear that I have spoken about in the past has returned.  What if I ....  the list of if's is growing by the second. 

You see, firstly when I started WeightWatchers, I told nobody about it, so that if I failed, I would not have to look anybody in the eye knowing that I failed.  I also never told anyone my weight.  Not even when I got to goal.  

The first time the I told my husband and my parents what my starting weight was, was the night before the Sunday World came out with my story on the front page of the supplement. 

The only person who knew about my weight was my leader.  A person with whom I knew well, within their role but very little outside of that, knew more about me than my closest loves.  That means that it's a really unique relationship. 

This time round I really need people to come to class so I have to be open, face to face, no computer in between, no leader cheering me on at the side lines while I tell my story to their class.  

This time, it's not about me, it's about other people's journeys.   

So in a way, 

This is my Independence day!

When you look at say, the goddess Beyonce and think, I'd love to be her, which I definitely would.  Well, I think of that feeling she must have had on stage in the middle of playing Glastonbury, imagine what that felt like.  

Do I think of all the hard work she puts in to having great legs like that, not at all, I imagine that she just appeared on this earth with legs created by a god. 

Do I think of all the hours training, all the knock backs, rejection and criticism she received, no I don't.  She called an album Sasha Fierce, because that is her alter ego, her thick skin, her courage. 

When in the middle of searching for your inner strength, when it comes to your weight loss, do you really think that you will find it where your weakness lies? 

I know my weakness and I know that I am being tested at present, new ventures, kids at home, a change in thinking about WeightWatchers and also the idea that my weight loss is now part of my work are all pushing my boundaries but I do know that when we feel like we are being pushed to our limits, it's right there where change is happening. 

Let today be your Independence day, don't give up because it's "Summer Time" apparently, or it's going to be too hard because I have a holiday booked in August and I will miss the class anyway.  

Think, today is my Independence day and when I bring the kids back to school in September, I'm going to be the hottest mother or father at the school gates.  Or when I go on holidays in August, I'm going to enjoy every moment of it because I worked my back side off for it. Literally. 

Find your Sasha Fierce, even if it's just your act to find your strength.  

Happy Independence day!